Episode 9 - Season of Abundance
Episode 9 - Season of Abundance
I want to start off by talking about scarcity. This is a fear-based mindset. I want to teach you about the two core fears we have as humans. These fears keep us from living in abundance.
Think about the last time you made a mistake or said something dumb.
Do you remember this experience?
Do you remember how you felt?
Did you feel embarrassed?
Kim Giles teaches in her book, Clarity Point, that we feel this way because these experiences trigger one of our deepest fears - the fear of not being good enough.
Can you see this in yourself?
There are times that all of us don’t feel capable or adequate enough. We don’t think we are as good as other people. We are afraid of failing in some way in our life. We feel like we are just not good enough.
There are many ways that we can fail or fall short. We can not be smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, successful enough, brave enough, cool enough, or fit enough. We can fail as a parent, a child, a spouse, a friend, a student, a neighbor, a member of your church. No matter how hard we try in one area of our life we are probably falling short in another. We just can’t be enough to make this fear go away.
I believe that as children we heard things from others that sent us a message in a hundred different ways. The message was that we need to be different than we are and who we are isn’t enough.
Growing up this fear has grew into fear of failure, fear of looking bad, fear of judgment. As an adult, we fear being rejected or abandoned or unworthy of love. Every time we have experienced pain, disappointment, hurt, or shame, this fear gets bigger and stronger. It hinders our ability to love and pushes our true, divine self deeper and deeper down in order to protect us.
This fear of failure shows up in many ways and is different for all of us. But this fear causes us problems and drives unproductive and destructive behaviors. Social anxiety. Insecurity. Shyness. Or showing off. Trying too hard to get noticed. Being overly defensive or protective. Or it can hold us back from taking risks, learning new things, and making decisions.
For me, this fear showed up in my life in the area around my physical appearance.
I believed for a long time that somehow I wasn't enough because of the number on the scale and the size I wore.
It held me back from participating in my life. I avoided situations that I believed would put unwanted attention on my body. I wouldn't fully engage in activities with friends and loved ones because I felt ashamed.
I ask you, what has this fear cost you? How has it stopped you from living fully? Is it stopping you from creating joy in your life because you are worried about what other people think of you? Does it prevent you from reaching out or connecting with people? Does it make you scared to do things you really want to do?
Can you think of one way you see it affecting you from creating more joy in your life?
The second core fear we experience daily is the fear of loss, or the fear that your life isn’t going to be good enough. This includes loss of security, control, money, reputation, loved ones, respect, opportunities, and validation from others.
This fear showed up in my life in my relationships with my adult children. Their choices were different from what I had taught them. I believed that my life would be better if things were different and they needed to change so that I could be happy. It affected how I showed up in those relationships which were often from a place of frustration and self-pity.
We can spot this fear of loss by noticing if we are afraid of being taken from, walked on, or not having our fair share of what we need or deserve. If we often feel mistreated or insulted by other people. We feel the need to control other people or situations in order to feel safe. We are scared about losing people in our lives. We are scared of not having enough money.
Once we recognize this fear in us, we want to notice how we treat others. Are we trying to control or manipulate others? Are we easily offended? Overly emotional? Overly reactive?
This fear can cause issues in every area of your life.
The good news is if you are experiencing these fears nothing is wrong with you. Congratulations! You are normal!
You are human. The human brain is wired for what scientists call negative bias. This wiring kept our ancestors safe from known and unknown dangers from the beginning of time. This is something we have continued to carry with us. This survival brain is always making risk assessments. This isn’t a problem, we just need to understand our brain and practice managing our brains and the stories they tell us that are holding us back from creating a more joyful life.
Most of the choices we make are driven by the need to quiet these two core fears. Again, Kim Giles refers to them as the fear of failure and the fear of loss which is what I am going to refer to as scarcity.
Scarcity keeps us in fight and flight mode. It is restrictive. It prevents us from accessing our prefrontal cortex and this causes us to make errors in judgment. The opposite of this is abundance which is a growth mindset. It is expansive.
I am going to share with you 8 strategies to help you move towards creating more abundance in your life.
Stop comparing yourself and your results with others.
Expand your vision. Look to the future instead of the past to determine what you are capable of.
Shorten your lens. Remember that what you want and need is not dependent on what is happening on a larger scale.
Don’t take things personally. Our brains want it to be about us.
Remember you don’t earn your value or worth. You were born with it.
Access the power of “and.” You are amazing and a mess. Embrace all of it.
Practice making decisions from abundance and expansion.
Practice gratitude - Jody Moore says, “gratitude and generosity are the parents of abundance.
What if everything is rigged in your favor?
What if this is true?
Not just my favor or your favor but everyone in the story.
I invite you to take action from a place of abundance.
To learn more about Kim Giles click here.
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If you would like to learn more about what life coaching is, please feel free to schedule a FREE discovery call where we can work through something that is causing you a problem.
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Have a joyful week!
