Thoughtful Thursday & The Inner Critic

ON THE BLOG

THE INNER CRITIC

Hello friends!

I recently had an experience where my inner critic came to visit.  

You know what I am talking about.  

That mean girl who talks to you in way that isn't nice.

She tells you all the things you are doing wrong.

She points out your flaws and tells you what she believes other people are thinking of you.

This inner critic offers you all kinds of thoughts and beliefs that don't serve you.

And oh boy, did my inner critic offer me some painful thoughts after a recent speaking engagement.

Thoughts like: 

“Jill, you suck.”

“No one liked that.”

“You totally lost them.”

“Why did you spend so much time talking about that?” 

“Why did you say this?”

“No one is going to ask you to speak again.”

I had these thoughts rattling around in my head which left me feeling heartbroken, sad and defeated by the time I got home that evening.

I played the events of the evening over and over in my mind and I hardly slept that night.  

This was not very helpful or useful.  

But this is where I was at. 

Even though I teach and practice thought work, I am a human being.  

Sometimes we listen to that inner critic and we sink into negative emotion and that is ok. 

The worst thing that happened from this experience is that I felt uncomfortable.

I can do uncomfortable.

I am actually pretty good at it now because I know it won't hurt me.

It is part of the human experience.

When we can understand this, we don't get totally derailed when we experience the painful parts of life.

So I allowed the feelings of sadness and discouragement to come.

I sat with them for a bit, and then when I was ready to feel something different, I let them go.

Then I worked on my mind management.

Reminding myself that I can’t go back and change what happened.  

That I can’t go back in time and undo it.  

That a poor talk doesn’t say anything about the person I am. 

It doesn’t determine my value or my worth.  

I also know that I will get over it. 

(I am mostly over it.)

And honestly, there were lessons in this experience.

Because of the experience I had created for myself, I know what I would do differently next time.

That's called learning, not failing.

So when your mean girl comes to visit don't be too hard on yourself for listening to her sometimes.

She can be quite persuasive.

Show some compassion for yourself, feel the feels, and then get to work managing your mind around those beliefs that will serve you better.

Have a joyful week!