Thoughtful Thursday & Reading Minds

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READING MINDS

Hello friends!

Years ago, I remember thinking thoughts like:

If he loved me…..

He should know why I am mad.

He should do what I ask.

He should listen when I am talking.

He should care about it the way I do.

He should be on the same page as me.

He should do his fair share.

He should remember what I told him.

These thoughts weren't bad or wrong but they weren't helping me feel connected to my husband.

They were actually disconnecting me from him.

I was believing that if my husband would change then I could be happy.

The thoughts I was having were reinforcing the idea that my husband should actually be able to read my mind and that he was in charge of my emotions.

I don't know about you, but I don't know anyone that can read minds or manage other people's emotions.

That doesn't mean we don't all try, but does it really ever work?

When I began to drop the “shoulds” and I took responsibility for my own emotions,  I began to better connect with myself and my husband.

This doesn't mean I don't make requests of my husband.

Of course I do.

All the time.

However, my emotional well-being doesn't need to be at the mercy of what my husband does or does not do.

Sometimes, because I am a human, I still slip into the “should” thinking but I don't stay there long.

I have found the freedom that comes from being in charge of myself and my own happiness.

I believe that a strong and healthy sense of self actually creates a strong and healthy marriage.

What would your marriage relationship be like if you could drop the idea that that your spouse should be different than who they are right now?

What if you could let them be them and you could be happy?

What if it isn't actually their job to make you happy?

What if it is yours?

Something to think about.

Have a joyful week!