Thoughtful Thursday & Now What?

ON THE BLOG

NOW WHAT?

In working with my clients, we spend time figuring out what they are struggling with or what the problem is. 

We also spend time discovering how they have contributed to it and what this has created for them. 

This awareness is important, but they are now faced with a choice.

Do they want to stay where they are or are they ready to move forward and begin to create something different for themselves?

Self-awareness alone doesn't help us created desired change.

Once my clients realize that their beliefs create their emotions which fuel their behaviors which ultimately create their experiences, they have a tendency, as did I, to shame themselves. 

We go from blaming our spouse, our kids, or someone or something else, to believing that we should just get our act together and do better.  

It is so easy to move from judging the things or people outside of us to judging ourselves.  

This is a pretty common pattern and it can feel productive. 

Yet, it does the exact opposite of what we really want and it keeps us stuck in shame.

It is important to understand that once we have gained awareness, we have to couple it with acceptance and compassion.  

This is what I call the progress formula, awareness + acceptance + compassion = progress.  

This is where true change can take place.  

What does that look like?

It begins with accepting what is.  

That doesn't mean we love what is.  

It doesn't mean we don't have certain conversations or don't do something different moving forward. 

It just means we are no longer resisting what is or trying to control things we can't control.

Once we can get to acceptance, we need to add some compassion.

Understanding that we are all children of God and we came to this earth with our value and worth intact.  

Believing that we were born with it and it can't be taken away. 

No one is better or worse than anyone else.

But, also, understanding that we are all messy and flawed in some way.  

None of us is perfect.  

We are just doing the best we can with what we know and with what we have been given.

Being able to add acceptance and compassion to the awareness we have gained allows us to move forward from a place of accountability as well as grace.

The better we get at doing this for ourselves, the better we can be at allowing it for others.

Click HERE to listen to my podcast episode on this!