Episode 4- Pause to Protect
Episode 4 - Pause to Protect
Just to review, over the last couple of weeks, we have covered the first two parts of the Pause Principle - The first part is Pause to Process meaning processing emotions which is allowing your emotions to move through instead of letting them control you. The second part is Pause to Ponder meaning getting curious and asking empowering questions allowing you to connect with your true self and with God. If you haven’t listened to those yet, I invite you to go back and give them a listen. This week I am talking about the third and final part of The Pause Principle - Pause to Protect.
As I began to accept that life is meant to be 50/50 - That there truly is opposition in all things, and began to process my positive and negative emotions, I created change in my life. By accepting what is, I stopped pushing against reality. I was no longer at the mercy of my circumstances or the choices of others. I began to understand that my emotional well-being didn’t have to be at the effect of things outside of my control. I now truly believe that it is within my power to choose to create a life I love, a more joyful life.
This led me to ponder on the things that mattered most to me. Asking questions like:
What values and priorities are important to me?
What kind of person do I want to be?
How can I be an example of what is possible?
What beliefs do I need to let go of that no longer serve me?
What beliefs can I choose to practice that will help me move toward the person I want to become?
How can I be an influence for good in the world?
Taking the time to ask questions like these invites intention and purpose into our lives.
This awareness is an important first step but what happens after we have figured out what we intentionally want to create in our lives? How do we live on purpose?
This is all part of the final piece of The Pause Principle, Pause to Protect. Once we get clear on our values, priorities, and desires, we need to pause to consider how to live in a way that protects our intentions.
I am now going to share with you 3 ways that I use to Pause to Protect. These are steps or actions you can take in order to help you to create more joy in your life.
Ask yourself, what would it look like if you could show up as the person you want to be in the future right now? Today? How does she behave? What does she think? What does she believe? What advice would your future self give you to help live that way now?
Looking to the future to create more of what you want is powerful. So often, we try to create from the past. But the past beliefs haven’t been able to get us where we want to go. If they did, we would be there by now. We need to start creating from the future. Accomplishing something we have never been able to achieve before needs to come from a place of possibilities which lies in the future.
For example, consider running a marathon. If you have never run a marathon you wouldn’t base your ability to succeed on the past, because you would never get there. But accessing the possibility from the future, you can begin creating those habits that a marathon runner needs to reach their goal. Your future goal. Your future self. Allow her to share with you the wisdom and possibilities that will lead you to her. You would create a training plan that includes what you need to do to become a marathon runner and then take each day at a time while at the same time believing that you are a marathon runner.
When I thought about starting a podcast, I told myself that I didn’t know how. I
didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know what podcast host to use. I didn’t know what to name it or what microphone to use. I didn’t know the format or the length. It felt
overwhelming and so I didn’t do it. But when I thought about why I wanted to do this podcast, I decided I wanted to protect my purpose. Protect the values that encouraged me to share what I have learned. Protect the person I wanted to be. Protect the goodness I wanted to share with the world. So I took the next step and then the next and then the next and here we are.
What do you need to start saying “no” to in your life? This can definitely include eliminating activities that are not helping you reach your goal. Doing this is great and can allow you to create more space in your life for what you want to create more intentionally. But, I am also suggesting that it includes more than that. It means saying “no” to being the victim of your story. It means saying “no” to putting other people in charge of your emotions. It means saying “no” to showing up in your life reactionary and not in line with who you want to be. It means saying “no” to believing you are not enough. Saying “no” to playing small in your life. It means saying “no” to blaming others or shaming yourself.
When I realized that feeling the never ending loop of self-pity and frustration wasn’t
helping me create more joy in my life, I decided that I needed to start staying no. I had to say “no” to the belief that people “should” believe, think, feel or do what I thought they should. I had to start saying “no” to the idea that the reason I was feeling those negative feelings was someone else's fault. I needed to start saying “no” to the idea that there was something wrong with me. I had to say “no” to resisting, reacting, and avoiding my emotions. I had to say “no” to the adversary who was trying to convince me that I wasn’t good enough. I had to say “no” to not showing up as the person I wanted to be.
By saying no to things like these, we can start saying “yes.” This leads me to #3.
What do you need to start saying “yes” to in your life? Are you ready to say “yes” to processing your emotions? Are you ready to say “yes” to being uncomfortable? Saying “yes” to putting yourself out there and trying new things. Saying “yes” to failure. Saying “yes” to opportunities that feel scary (like this podcast). Saying “yes” to embracing all of you, the good and the bad. Saying “yes” to believing that it is ok not to be perfect and “yes” to being human. Saying “yes” to feeling love for everyone in your story. Saying “yes” to aligning yourself with who you really want to be and with who God created you to be. Then deliberately and intentionally choosing that.
I have said “yes” more in the last 3 years than ever before. I have learned so many things because I have been willing to say “yes” even when I was afraid to. Saying “yes” has included feeling uncomfortable and maybe even a little embarrassed. It has included embracing failure knowing that it really isn’t failure but learning if I keep trying. Saying “yes” to progressing, improving, and becoming AND saying “yes” to loving and accepting myself through the process.
I truly believe that when we can access the wisdom and beliefs from our future self while also learning what to say “no” to and what to say “yes” to is the key to real growth and joy.
I am not saying that I am perfect in this process of protecting and being intentional, but it is something I have found is worth practicing.
So I ask you, have you paused to consider what your priorities are? Your values? Your desires? What would your ideal life look like? How can you begin to honor and protect these?
We are all creators. It is in our DNA as children of God. We are always either intentionally or unintentionally creating. We are always creating. What do you want to create on purpose?
I invite you to consider the following:
What is one thing that your future self believes that she could share with you?
Is there something in your life that you could begin saying “no” to?
Is there something you could begin saying “yes” to?
What opportunities are you willing to lean into, even if it means feeling uncomfortable?
What do you want to create?
Applying these 3 parts of the pause principle has changed my life. - Pausing to process, pausing to ponder and pausing to protect has allowed me to embrace that I am not in a mid-life crisis but a season of awakening. This has become my mantra. This has become my belief and I am fully embracing it. I have discovered that It is never too late to awaken and remember who you are. It is never too late to learn new things. It’s never too late to live a life you love. It is never too late to create a season of awakening and it can be so beautiful.
Thank you for listening. If you like what you hear, please share it with your friends and family and please leave me a review.
If you want to learn more about me go to seasons-coaching.com.
Have a joyful week!
