Episode 144 - Being Your Own Best Friend Part 4: Identity + Celebrations
Embracing Your Divine Identity & Celebrating Your Wins
The final installment in our four-part series on self-friendship explores how understanding your inherent worth transforms your relationship with yourself and why celebrating your progress—big and small—is essential for continued growth.
The Journey So Far
Welcome to the final part of our "Being Your Own Best Friend" series! Before we dive into today's topics, let's quickly recap what we've covered:
Part 1: We explored 12 foundational principles for building a strong relationship with yourself
Part 2: We focused on the complementary practices of self-compassion and self-forgiveness
Part 3: We delved into self-discovery—understanding your needs, values, and boundaries
If you haven't read the previous installments, I encourage you to start from the beginning to get the full benefit of this transformative journey.
Embracing Your Divine Identity
One essential element in becoming your own best friend is embracing your true identity—specifically, what I call your Divine Identity. This means understanding that your worth is inherent, not something to be earned or lost through achievements or mistakes.
For many years, I believed my identity was tied to my roles, accomplishments, and circumstances. While I intellectually understood my value, I didn't deeply feel it. Sound familiar?
For women of faith, recognizing that you were created with intention, known completely, and loved unconditionally by your Creator is transformative. Your identity carries divine fingerprints that cannot be erased by life's challenges.
The Transformative Power of Knowing Your Worth
When you fully embrace your Divine Identity:
You stop comparing yourself to others because you understand your journey is uniquely yours
Life's inevitable changes no longer threaten your sense of self
You make decisions from a place of abundance rather than fear
Perfectionism loses its grip as you no longer need to prove your worth
Your authentic purpose becomes clearer, allowing you to align with your unique gifts
This is especially important in midlife, a season of transition when many roles that previously defined you—mother, professional, caregiver, partner—begin to shift. Divine Identity offers stability because it never changes.
Practical Ways to Reinforce Your Divine Identity
Surround yourself with affirmations that remind you of your inherent worth
Notice when you're deriving your sense of self from external sources
Stay present—your Divine Identity isn't something to achieve, it's already within you
Cultivate relationships with people who see and affirm your true essence
Release expectations that contradict your authentic design
Working with women in midlife, I've witnessed transformations as they embrace this truth. They move from shame and disappointment to acceptance and hope, which shapes how they navigate life in powerful ways:
They treat themselves with greater compassion
Their decisions align with their true needs and values
Their relationships become more authentic
Their purpose unfolds naturally as they stop striving to meet external expectations
Holding onto this truth daily is both an act of faith and a foundation for an authentic, joyful life.
The Importance of Celebrating Yourself
Now, let's add joy to the mix by celebrating your wins, no matter how small!
Many of us, especially women, have been conditioned to overlook our accomplishments. We check something off the list and immediately focus on what's next. This habit has consequences:
It trains our brain to focus on gaps rather than progress
It creates a constant feeling of "not enough"
It robs us of motivation that comes from recognizing growth
It prevents us from acknowledging the strength we've gained
The Science Behind Celebration
Research shows that celebrating progress:
Increases motivation by triggering dopamine, energizing you for the next step
Builds confidence by reinforcing evidence of your capability
Enhances resilience by reminding you of past successes
Boosts well-being by creating moments of joy and satisfaction
How to Incorporate Celebration Into Your Life
Expand your definition of achievement. Wins aren't just big milestones—they include small steps, emotional growth, and personal insights.
Create completion rituals. Light a candle, take a moment to reflect, share with a friend, or journal about your progress.
Keep visible reminders. Maintain a "done list" alongside your to-do list or create a "win jar" to collect notes of achievements.
Look for progress within the process. Even if a larger goal isn't complete, acknowledge the steps you've taken.
Share selectively. Surround yourself with people who genuinely celebrate your growth.
Many women worry that acknowledging their progress is boastful. Let's challenge that belief:
Self-acknowledgment isn't arrogance
Your achievements inspire others
Recognition completes the cycle—just as inhaling without exhaling creates imbalance, striving without celebrating does the same
Consider how you would treat someone you love. You wouldn't withhold acknowledgment of their successes, so why do it to yourself? How might sprinkling celebration into your life strengthen your relationship with yourself and inspire others?
Bringing It All Together
Throughout this series, we've explored what it means to become your own best friend:
Understanding the foundational principles of self-relationship
Practicing self-compassion and self-forgiveness
Identifying your needs, values, and boundaries
Embracing your Divine Identity as your foundation
Celebrating your achievements to foster motivation and joy
These final two practices—knowing your Divine Identity and celebrating your wins—work together beautifully. When you know your worth, you make choices that align with your true self. When you acknowledge those choices, you reinforce your sense of value.
Building a strong relationship with yourself isn't a one-time achievement; it's a daily practice. But with each compassionate moment, aligned decision, and celebration, you strengthen one of the most important friendships of your life—the one you have with yourself.
What aspect of becoming your own best friend has resonated most with you? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
From Small Steps to Big Wins: The Importance of Celebrating (Psychology Today)
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About the Author: With over three years of podcasting experience and specialized coaching for women of faith in the mid-season of life, I'm passionate about helping women create lives they love, regardless of circumstance.
