Episode 113 - A Conversation with Kristen Rutter
Episode 113 - A Conversation with Kristen Rutter
Welcome to the Seasons of Joy podcast, hosted by Jill Pack, a certified faith-based life coach and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In episode 113, Jill engages in a heartfelt conversation with her new friend, Kristen Rutter, a fellow faith-based life coach. Kristen shares her journey into life coaching, her struggles with self-concept, and the transformative power of understanding one's thoughts.
Throughout the episode, Jill and Kristen delve into the importance of self-compassion, the distinction between motherhood and caregiving, and the journey to authentic spirituality. They discuss how embracing both our human and divine aspects can lead to a more joyful and fulfilling life. Kristen also introduces her concept of the "whole soul," emphasizing the integration of mind, body, and spirit for true self-discovery and peace.
Listeners will find valuable insights on how to cultivate a deeper connection with themselves, others, and God, along with practical tips for creating inner peace. Don't miss this inspiring episode filled with wisdom and encouragement for women navigating the complexities of life.
Learn more about Kristen here:
Instagram: kristen.rutter.coaching
Website: kristenruttercoaching.com
Free workbook on website: Creating deeper connection to God and yourself. 5 things you didn't learn in Sunday School.
Podcast: Whole Soul Wellness with Kristen Rutter (Coming in June)
Matt Rutter Website: www.mattruttercoaching.com
Listen to learn more!
Are you ready to take what I teach to a deeper level? I would love to be your coach!
I am offering what I call Summer Spark Coaching. This is a 4 session coaching package.
Summer Spark Coaching is like having a personal cheerleader just for you, ready to help reignite their spark and guide you through life's twists and turns with confidence and grace. With me by your side, you'll overcome obstacles, discover hidden strengths, and grab hold of fresh chances for growth and joy. Let Summer Spark Coaching be your ticket to turning midlife into an amazing adventure, bursting with energy and endless possibilities!
Just click HERE to learn more about my Summer Spark Coaching!
Click HERE for my Pause Principle Mini Course!
Click HERE to schedule a FREE Clarity Conversation with me to learn more about working with me.
Grab the 5 Day Relationship Reboot Challenge Workbook HERE.
For another great FREE resource, grab my Mending the Rift: Repairing Relationships with Adult Children.
Click on the following links to learn more about Seasons Coaching and my Seasons of Joy Community Facebook Group.
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To contact me about speaking to your group or business, email me at jill@seasons-coaching.com.
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Transcription:
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This is Jill Pack with the Seasons of Joy podcast. This is episode number 113,
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entitled A Conversation with Kristen Rutter.
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Are you a woman of faith who is struggling to navigate your current season of life?
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Do you feel like life is just happening to you instead of for you?
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My name is Jill Pack and I'm a certified faith-based life coach and a member
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of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
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I want you to know that no matter your season or your circumstance,
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it is possible to create a more
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joyful life, and I would love to show you how. Are you ready? Let's go.
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Music.
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Hello, my friends. Welcome to the podcast. I'm so glad to be here.
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Thank you for being here. I am looking forward to sharing with you my conversation
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with my new friend, Kristen Rudder. You're going to love it.
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But before I get started, I wanted to remind you about what I am offering this
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summer at Seasons Coaching.
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I am offering a four coaching session package.
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You get four one-on-one private coaching sessions with me that you can use over the summer.
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And summer spark coaching is like having a personal cheerleader just for you,
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ready to help reignite your spark and guide you through life's twists and turns
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with confidence and grace.
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With me by your side, you will learn how to overcome obstacles,
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discover hidden strengths, and grab hold of opportunities for growth and joy.
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So if you're interested in turning this summer into an amazing adventure,
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bursting with energy and endless possibilities, just click the link in the show
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notes to learn more about summer spark coaching.
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Now on to this week's episode.
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I am here with my friend Kristen Rudder. I'm so excited to have her on the podcast today.
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You are going to love her. I recently met Kristen at a retreat that I went to
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and got to know her a lot better and it just was so fun.
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And so I wanted to have her on and share her thoughts and insights.
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So I'm going to turn the time over
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to you, Kristen, and let you introduce yourself and we'll go from there.
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Awesome. Thanks, Jill. Thanks for inviting me to be on your podcast.
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I'm very excited to get a chance to reconnect. Yeah, my name is Kristen Rutter,
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and I am a faith-based life coach, and I'm...
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Wife to my husband. We've been married for 33 years.
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We have four kids that are now grown and out of the home and I have five grandkids
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and I have been a yoga teacher for I think about 13 years.
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So I've been doing yoga for over 20 years, but I got certified and that kind
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of was what kind of started me on the path to like self-development and self-improvement.
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I love that.
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Yeah. So what led you to coaching?
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Like, let's, let's jump into that. Like, let's jump into what brought you to
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this. Like, it's so funny. We have a lot of similarities.
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I've been married for 33 years and have five kids. So pretty similar. So anyway.
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Yeah. So tell us your your story like
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what brought you here well I've always been interested in
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like human development and self-help like
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you know I was in a book group and I would always pick the self-help books and
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they'd be like no more self-help books yeah but I just felt like I was doing
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all the things but something was missing like I just was actually kind of struggling with maybe my
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self-concept with my role as a mother.
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I didn't know how to regulate my nervous system. I didn't even know those words
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at the time. I didn't know.
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I was really critical of myself. And I just felt like I was struggling and barely
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keeping my head above water is what it felt like.
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And my cute sister-in-law was like, do you listen to podcasts?
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And I was like, no. no she's like okay I
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she helped me get it on my phone I started listening to
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podcasts of life coaches and my mind
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I went oh my goodness this is the how I
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knew what I wanted pretty much kind of but I couldn't figure out the how I was
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like carrying so many heavy things and I had a lot of really heavy limiting
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beliefs and ideas about who I was and when I started recognizing like oh oh,
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there is great power in my thoughts and understanding,
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like just starting to like break things open like that was so transformational for me. And so I.
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I was like, I, I went to a week long certification or not a certification.
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I went to a week long training with Jodi Moore and it, I just loved it and knew
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that I wanted to learn how to be the best life coach that I could be.
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So I really wanted to go to the life coach school, but I was having a hard time.
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I'm like, what the reality of it was, is that I didn't like I was worth,
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my education wasn't worth that much money.
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That was a really limiting belief that I had. And I just was like,
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oh, well, we can't afford it.
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I mean, that was kind of what I thought. And, but then I figured that all out. I got clear on that.
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And anyway, so eventually I did go to the life coach school.
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And the funny thing about it is, is my husband ended up doing it with me at the same time.
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I love that so much. And that was like the most awesome.
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It was the year that our youngest went on his mission.
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And that can be kind of a readjustment for a relationship.
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Yeah. I mean, we know so many people in the mid season of life that get divorced, right.
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Or really struggle in their marriage because all of a sudden it's just us baby, let's go.
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And all of a sudden we had something that gave us great purpose together.
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Like we were in separate groups that we went through, but we would study together.
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We would talk about it all the time and really ended up being like the most
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amazing transition from being a full-time mother and caregiver to,
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to now having this new phase of life where I was really excited about what we were doing.
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And it's kind of fun. My husband ended up two years later quitting his corporate
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job and is doing coaching full-time now. So that's so cool.
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And as you and I both know, No, there's a lot of women life coaches,
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not as many men and men need them just like, right?
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There's a real need there. So that's so cool.
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And it's been awesome to watch because life coaching makes a lot of sense,
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especially the way he approaches it. It makes a lot of sense for men.
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It helps men take these emotions that feel or, you know, emotions or situations
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that It felt overwhelming and helps give them words and helps them.
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It's just more logical to understand where, how they can feel empowered and.
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And really, like also women have the benefit of a lot of women talk to other women.
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Yeah. Men don't seem to talk about those real things as often.
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It's not like you're talking to your buddy about like, how are you and your wife doing?
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Yeah. It's very different. Yeah. On a scale of one to 10, how are you and your wife doing?
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You know, that doesn't happen as much. Yeah. And to have someone that's safe
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and can hold that space for you and really gets men. And it's been awesome to
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see the changes of the men that he coaches.
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Yeah, that's so cool. And even just the thought came to me, like helping Ben
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see, it helps him to be able to see maybe how a woman works.
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Why there's maybe an issue in the marriage. Oh, it's what she's interpreting.
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Like, how can we talk and resolve this, right? Right. And address maybe some
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of those beliefs or those thoughts that are standing in the way.
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But, you know, I just think that as a couple, that's so powerful to understand.
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Like, oh, it's not necessarily she thinks I'm this horrible person.
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It's that she's believing something about our relationship or this interaction
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that's causing her to feel this certain way.
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I don't know. I just think it can invite some compassion and understanding on
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both sides. guides. Yes. Yeah.
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It's been really awesome to watch. So cool. So you each do your own business.
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Yeah. Yeah. With his group of people. Yeah.
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He coaches kind of like, I can't remember the, like exactly how he describes
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it, but it's like successful men that know something's missing. Yeah. Okay. I love it.
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Yeah. And he helps them to kind of get clarity on that and helps give them the
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tools to really work on those things that are the most important to them. Yeah.
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And Yeah, I coach women who want a more meaningful, deeper connection with themselves,
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with others, and with God.
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And so a lot of my clients, I would say, like, are really good at checking all
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the check marks, but maybe life doesn't feel full or purposeful or they feel kind of empty.
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And so like helping to
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understand all of that a lot of my clients are really good at being compassionate
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with everyone else in their lives and are caretakers of everyone else and make
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sure everyone else is taken really well care taken care of but they feel very,
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Maybe they are not as compassionate with themselves as they are with other people.
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Yeah. They have a really loud inner critic, or maybe they just have these really
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strong limiting beliefs, things that they believed about themselves.
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Like when they feel like something's wrong with them.
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Yeah. Yeah. And I just want to like take their little shoulders and say,
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nothing's wrong with you. Yes. Yeah. Don't be broken.
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Yeah. Well, and I think the thing that's really kind of, I don't know,
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kind of come into my vision right now, or like the forefront of my mind is this
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idea of fixing, like that we need fixing.
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And I think so many people think that they need to be fixed and doesn't mean
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we don't want to, like, we don't want to improve or do better.
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No, but it's like this idea that they are, they are a problem to be solved.
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I don't know. I just think that there's a lot of women in our stage of life, right?
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That they look back at maybe the things they've done or in their life or in
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their relationships that they just think it's a mess and that they totally screwed up, right?
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And it's like that they're this big problem and it's like, no,
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you're not a problem to be fixed. You're a human being that gets it right sometimes
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and not so much the other time.
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And that's okay. Yeah. So I just think that, yeah, like, yeah,
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we aren't a problem to be solved.
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Right. And I think it's kind of like embracing our humanness and our divinity.
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Yeah. We are both human and divine. Yeah. Yeah.
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And both are great. Yeah. Like we are not here to be perfect,
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but we are here to grow and learn.
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And this is that human condition that puts us in so many experiences that we're
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like, okay, we're going to learn.
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Yeah. Oh, it's time to grow. Oh, here we go. Yeah.
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Yeah. I love that. So would you say, like, as you work with these,
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your clients, is that the biggest stumbling block for them is to just have that
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compassion and love for themselves?
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Yeah. Isn't it interesting that we kind of have to start there?
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It takes me back to, you know, the scriptures where it's like,
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love God and love your neighbor as yourself.
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And we always, I don't know, at least me, I don't remember when I was growing
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up hearing that as yourself part very often.
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Yeah. And I didn't realize that the way I learned to love and accept myself
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is going to be reflected in how I am able to love and connect to others and to God.
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Yeah. And so if I'm always like critical of myself and I'm always seeing where I'm lacking,
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it's really hard to feel love because love is like this unconditional energy
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of like just acceptance.
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And we think that if we accept ourselves just as we are, that we're going to
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just start going downhill real fast.
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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I just think the beautiful thing about it is,
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is that when we do accept who we are, then we are able to change.
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But it's not from a place of fear of not being good enough.
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It's not from a place of feeling like we are a disappointment to everyone in our lives.
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It's from this place of like, yeah, I'm human and I'm totally awesome and I'm totally a mess. Yeah.
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And I think when I really grasped that, it just was such a relief.
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And I was coaching someone today on that very thing.
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It's like they had this story about that they weren't a good mother, right? And it's like.
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When you can open your mind and go, yeah, sometimes I wasn't, but a lot of times I was.
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And so I'm both. And she was like, that was just such a big relief to realize
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like, oh, I am both and that's okay.
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And of course, I think the power comes when we embrace the duality of that.
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It frees us to grow in the direction we want to. And one of the things I was
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talking to her about was this idea of guilt versus shame.
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I think guilt has a total place in our life.
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Like guilt is that self-awareness where, oh, you know what? I really didn't
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show up the way I wanted to in this interaction.
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What can I do different, right? Where shame is so much deeper than that.
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And shame is not a catalyst to change. where I think guilt can be.
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But I think for so many women our age, we start with the guilt and then we just
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drop into shame so fast that we don't use the guilt to move forward.
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Yeah. It pushes us into shame. And then we just keep being the person we don't want to be.
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So I think, yeah, there's so much power in just embracing the both,
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the divine and the human. Yeah. I love that.
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Yeah. And I love what you were just saying about guilt and shame.
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And I think that where we get into where it gets hard with shame is when we
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make it mean something's wrong with us.
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Yeah. Guilt is just like, I've made a mistake.
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And I think shame kind of reflects back to us. Like I am a mistake.
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Yeah. Like I, something's wrong with me again. Right.
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It's And that problem can be fixed. And it's like, no, maybe there's something
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that we want to correct or do differently.
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But it doesn't mean something is wrong with you at the core of who you are.
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Yeah, totally. And I think it's understanding that we are inherently good. Yeah.
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When we get really serious and look at who we really are, it's like,
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oh, I really do try to do good more often than not. Even when I make a mistake. Yeah.
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Oftentimes when I make a mistake, especially like in motherhood,
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it was when I broke it all down and untied it a little bit. Yeah.
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Like kind of separated it out. It would be like, oh, I was either trying to
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protect myself or trying to protect someone else or something.
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Yeah. You know, something like there's a good reason behind it. Yeah.
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It just didn't come out very well. Yeah. Yeah.
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And we learned from it. Right. And I just think, I don't know,
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I say this so much on my podcast, but I don't think it can be said enough that...
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We came to the mess. That's what the fall is. The fall is a mess.
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Yeah. And when we're in those, like that ebb and flow and that push and pull,
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it's like, that's the opposition.
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That's the growing part. Like that's, that's where it happens.
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So when we feel that little tug, hug, we know the plan's working.
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Exactly. Right. It's going according to plan. Going according to plan. I love that.
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It's so true. You know, one thing that kind of came to mind when you were just
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speaking about the client that you were talking to this morning about feeling
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like she's not a good mom.
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I just recently had kind of this shift in how I, I mean, one of the things that
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I really struggled with was mom guilt and feeling like I wasn't a good mom.
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And shift this a little bit for myself is to recognize the difference between
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motherhood as the relationship and caregiving as all the other stuff, like all the stuff.
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So I used to think like, oh my word, I'm a terrible mother because I can't get us to church on time.
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Well, I had lumped everything into motherhood because in my mind I was like,
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oh, a mother has a clean house. She gets her kids to church on time.
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She teaches her kids to read before they get to kindergarten.
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She also has like healthy snacks and meals. And she also like,
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this was what a good mother was.
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And I couldn't do it all. I couldn't even come close.
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Like I felt like, and like, this was the thing that was the most important thing that I was doing.
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And I felt like I was failing miserably. And it's because I had lumped all of
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this into motherhood where when I separated Rated out and think of motherhood
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as my relationship to my children.
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Then there's caretaking or caregiving, whichever.
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Yeah. I kind of like that for you. Caregiving. Let's do caregiving.
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I like that. I like that too.
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Caregiving. That's like, you know, making sure they have the food and we make
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sure the clothes are washed.
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But other people can help with your laundry or you can go out to dinner on a
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night and it doesn't make you a bad mother.
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Or there is like when I started to be able to kind of separate that out of my mind.
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It helped me to set the caregiving responsibilities
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in a different compartment in
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my mind and freed me up to like
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how can I focus on my relationships yeah that's beautiful I love that I just
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wish I would have had it oh yeah years earlier right yes but there's something
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to a bit there's something I just have come to really trust the process of like,
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I don't think that God is as worried about the timing of things as we are sometimes.
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I totally agree. Yeah. Like if you think about it, like, again,
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that goes back to this idea that the expectation was perfection,
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that we have to figure it out from the very beginning where no,
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the growth comes through the messy of it.
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And even the yelling or the messy house or the whatever thing happened as we
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were raising our kids, like that is part of it.
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Yeah. Because how else do my kids learn to forgive if they had a perfect parent? Yeah.
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How would they learn forgiveness?
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Yeah. I mean, I'm like the perfect person for my kids to practice forgiving
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because I give them so So many opportunities, right? Yes, exactly.
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Yeah. Well, and I've always said like.
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If the goal is to become like the Savior and love like the Savior,
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what better vehicle than family relationships?
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Because they're going to test us. You think of who the Savior interacted with on a regular basis.
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It was people that despised him, but yet he showed up in love in all situations,
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right? And so it's like, those really test our ability to have unconditional love.
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Yeah. It's really easy to love people that are easy to love. Right.
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I've done a lot with meditation and I used to say, yeah, like it's easy to keep
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peace when you're a monk sitting up on a hill by yourself, you know, like that's one thing.
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But can you learn to have peace in your life and live with the family and you
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bring the peace from the inside out into the situations that you're in. Yeah. That's a lot.
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That's where the rubber meets the road. I think you do this when it's hard.
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Yeah. Sitting by yourself somewhere and quiet.
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Yeah. Nothing's causing you a problem.
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Yeah. Like I love that. I think that that's, but how can you create peace within
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unless you are in that, those relationships that, that test and try us. Yeah.
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Yeah. I would love to hear, how do you create peace with it?
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What are some of your thoughts?
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Yeah. You know, I think that it really is.
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Yeah. It's, it's where we go in our mind and, and the thoughts we choose for
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me, that is really the go-to.
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I did, I did a podcast on this once.
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I call it my peace portfolio and I have, I have an app called Trello.
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And so it's easy to do it in here because you can make lists,
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but I have a piece playlist.
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So music, I have visuals of things that bring me peace.
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So sometimes that's something I can open on my phone and just visually see something.
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So I think it's inviting all your senses and depending on where you are and
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what Sometimes it's even just placing my hand on my heart and saying, that's fine.
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You know what I mean? So it can look any different any way you want it to.
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But I think the biggest key is going inward.
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Yes. Right? Yes. Because if we're looking for someone to give us peace or for
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our circumstances to be peaceful for us to be able to feel peace,
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the likelihood of that happening is pretty slim.
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Yeah. It feels disempowering, right? Yeah. You're being acted upon.
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You're waiting for someone to change or do something for you. Yeah. Yeah.
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Whereas when you drop into who you really are and you understand that you're
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human and divine and that you can connect to God and you can feel you can use
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all the tools right to get yourself to a regulated place of peace.
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And then you bring that to whatever, excuse me, whatever situation you're in.
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That is empowering to know that if you, you can generate that peace for yourself.
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Yeah. And instead of having to have it be dependent on what's going on outside of you.
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Yeah. And don't you think like, as we were talking, like the thought that came
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to my mind is, I think a way to be able to generate peace for yourself really
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ties back to what we really started talking with.
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With, like that relationship with self, having that confidence and love and
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understanding of who we are is actually what's going to allow us to be able
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to create that peace for ourselves.
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Right. If we don't have that, if we don't have that confidence in ourself that
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we can even do it or that it is our choice or that we have that,
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that ability or power to do it, we'll, we won't be able to.
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So it really creating peace for ourselves starts with our relationship with self.
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Yes. And for me, that's why I needed to find the life coaching tools that I've
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learned, you know, going back to that, that how to, it wasn't just me reading another book.
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Like I needed to learn how to practice this and I needed to understand kind
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of those, I call them background ground beliefs.
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Like they are kind of really broad beliefs, but if you believe like.
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The one that just comes to mind and we've already talked about is like,
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something's wrong with me.
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That's always playing in the background. You know how when you go into a store
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and then like two days later, you're singing like living on a prayer.
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And you're like, why is this playing in my head? You're like,
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oh, wait, I heard that in the store the other day.
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And I think that we have thoughts like that that are just playing in the background.
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They've been there a long time.
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And we don't even recognize we're thinking them. them, but they show up in these
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other things. They show up in other ways.
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And when I'm thinking like something's wrong with me, then how do I show up
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in relationship to my husband and anything he says?
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And it feels like he's poking that sore spot on me and saying,
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you know, like if I feel really self-conscious about something's wrong with
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me and he says something, I take everything personally.
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Yeah. For all that validation. Well, my mind is looking for all the validation,
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like, yep, something's wrong with you. And he just hit it.
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Yeah. Well, protect yourself. Now start arguing with him. Yeah.
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Wrong. Right. Yeah. You can just see like how that happened.
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Yeah. So true. And I, yeah, the same client that I was talking with,
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it was interesting because,
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one of the initial, one of the initial thoughts we explored,
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Or the pain point is what she thought her husband was saying by a certain phrase
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that had nothing to do with her motherhood, right?
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But that's how she interpreted it. And it was that realization.
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It's like, oh, the reason why this hurts so bad is because I believe this on some level.
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I'm believing like that. It's not really about what he thinks.
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Right. About what I'm thinking about myself.
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And I'm projecting that onto whatever they say, whatever they do.
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We're reinforcing that. So yeah, usually it's painful because it ties back to
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what we're believing about ourselves.
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Yeah. Totally. I love that. And sometimes I like to think of it as like,
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you know when you get like a cut and you're,
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You can touch anywhere else on your, like, say you had a cut on your finger.
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You can touch anywhere else on your hand, but when you hit that,
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when you hit that little pain point, that paper cut even, right?
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Or the hang down. Yeah, so painful.
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It's a little hang down and you're like, ah.
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And it's like, oh, when we get really aware and we start noticing these things
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more quickly and with, you know, we can pick, we can notice them more easily or readily, I think.
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When we feel that we're like oh there's something there i wonder what the story
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is that i'm yeah right i wonder what i'm telling myself yeah it makes this feel painful yeah because.
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Those we know the words probably the words themselves are not painful it's if
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we believe them just like you just said yeah yeah or the under like the underlying meaning
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yeah that we're giving it to
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that has nothing what to do with what they said or
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done it's just yeah it ties to that story that painful story that we don't recognize
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at first glance right it's it's the word somebody else is saying or whatever
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the situation that's we believe is causing us to feel those things.
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But yeah, the greatest power we have is uncovering those stories and untangling
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them, like you said, like just pulling them apart and just going,
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I don't want that one anymore. And I don't want that one anymore.
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And a lot of times, I don't know if this is the same for you,
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but when you tell someone like, you don't have to to believe that anymore.
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When you're ready to not believe that thought anymore, it's total.
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That's totally optional. Like you can do that. It's an option. And they kind of go.
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Really? I can just not believe that? When you're ready, you can just not believe that.
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Yeah. And it's a lot easier when you realize that oftentimes those things that
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we're believing that causes pain, I use the word oftentimes,
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what I'm finding is it's all the time.
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If there's something that's causing us stress, anxiety, pain.
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Causing us to feel those things the truth
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whatever we're believing is not true yeah and
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yeah i have this like finding the truth in the situation helps us to be able
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to set that down so much easier yeah that is so true it's the the dissidents
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can tell us that it's probably built on a false premise.
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Because when we can really get curious and dig underneath, like the client I
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was talking about, the painful part was the belief she had about herself.
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And when she could open up to both, that it's both, that's when the dissidence went away.
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That's when the pain went away. I think it's interesting that relief was the word she used.
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Right. And I remember once being coached on something that I was struggling with.
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And when I opened up to the duality of two things being true at the same time,
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that was the word I used was relief.
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Yeah. Because you can set that weight down. You don't have to carry that burden the same.
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Yes. And it's not just doing mental gymnastics. That's the thing that some people
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say, oh, is life coaching just thinking positively?
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No. No. No, it's not just thinking, it's actually truth seeking.
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Yeah. Yeah. Find the truth.
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It sets us free. When we find the
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truth about what does it like for your client? Yeah. Is she a good mom?
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Yes. And is she kind of messy? Yeah.
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That's the truth. That's the truth. And is it okay?
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Yes. It's when you think you should be a perfect parent. And when you think
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you should be doing these things and you're falling short.
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Yeah. And that feels really painful. Yeah. So good. So good.
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So when you work with clients, is that where you start?
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Do you start with that relationship with self? And is there something,
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I don't know, this is what I like to do on this podcast when I interview someone.
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Like, is there something that you could share that they could use today?
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Like, my audience is exactly who we're talking to, right?
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It's women in the mid-season that feel that they've fallen short in some way
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in their life, in their marriage, in their parenting, in their community,
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in their faith, whatever the relationship is, there is a belief they've fallen
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short or it should be different than it is or whatever. Yeah.
416
00:33:05.813 --> 00:33:10.493
What, what's something you could share with listeners that, that maybe would
417
00:33:10.493 --> 00:33:13.853
help them on this journey, building that relationship?
418
00:33:14.453 --> 00:33:19.773
Well, one resource that I have that they might enjoy is I have a,
419
00:33:19.833 --> 00:33:25.793
a PDF that you can get that five things that you didn't learn in Sunday school
420
00:33:25.793 --> 00:33:30.833
that will help you to have a deeper connection with God and yourself. Oh, I love it.
421
00:33:31.713 --> 00:33:35.593
And so they're not like, just pray more. yeah just
422
00:33:35.593 --> 00:33:38.653
make sure you get 20 minutes not 19 but 20
423
00:33:38.653 --> 00:33:41.593
minutes scripture studying right right not
424
00:33:41.593 --> 00:33:48.753
what these ideas are because i really have you know isn't it isn't it awesome
425
00:33:48.753 --> 00:33:55.753
to be wiser and older yeah i am actually eating up the season of life because
426
00:33:55.753 --> 00:34:01.033
it's like oh i've had enough enough experiences to realize,
427
00:34:01.213 --> 00:34:03.933
like, I want an authentic spirituality.
428
00:34:05.073 --> 00:34:10.773
When I say spirituality, I'm talking about, like, it doesn't need to be religious-based.
429
00:34:11.073 --> 00:34:14.433
It is for me, but it doesn't need to be for anyone else.
430
00:34:14.573 --> 00:34:20.693
But recognizing that you are a spirit, that you have always existed,
431
00:34:20.913 --> 00:34:24.453
you will exist, and you exist now, and you're going to exist,
432
00:34:24.453 --> 00:34:25.733
Like you're eternal, right?
433
00:34:26.933 --> 00:34:35.213
And recognizing that God is always trying to communicate with you. I love this idea.
434
00:34:36.691 --> 00:34:40.251
From Elder Uchtdorf, he talks about how the blessings of heaven,
435
00:34:40.391 --> 00:34:44.291
and I would even say like the love of God is falling down all the time,
436
00:34:44.351 --> 00:34:46.451
but we're the ones with the umbrellas up.
437
00:34:47.491 --> 00:34:50.831
And I'm like, how do I put my umbrella down?
438
00:34:51.031 --> 00:34:56.111
Or how do I step out from underneath the trees and fill this rain of love and
439
00:34:56.111 --> 00:34:58.751
acceptance and light from God?
440
00:34:58.751 --> 00:35:02.271
Mm-hmm and so i
441
00:35:02.271 --> 00:35:05.951
think that to me that's like i want authentic spirituality
442
00:35:05.951 --> 00:35:12.451
and that's kind of what these five ideas on that pdf are we need to connect
443
00:35:12.451 --> 00:35:20.491
with ourselves we need to like feel what happens that well the name i'm starting
444
00:35:20.491 --> 00:35:24.431
a podcast eventually we've kind of talked about It's coming. It's coming.
445
00:35:24.811 --> 00:35:30.051
It's coming. And it's going to be called the whole soul podcast because I feel
446
00:35:30.051 --> 00:35:32.651
like we are mind, body, and spirit.
447
00:35:32.791 --> 00:35:37.431
And when those three things overlap, that's where our whole self is.
448
00:35:37.891 --> 00:35:43.311
We kind of have this thinking mind. We have our physical body and we have our spirit.
449
00:35:43.671 --> 00:35:47.431
And that intersection of all of them is where we find wholeness.
450
00:35:47.571 --> 00:35:51.411
So we need to take care of our bodies. We need to take care of our spirits.
451
00:35:51.411 --> 00:35:56.471
We need to take, be aware of our minds and know how to be healthy and have good mental health.
452
00:35:57.111 --> 00:36:01.431
When all of that is working, we feel so much more ourselves.
453
00:36:02.291 --> 00:36:06.051
And it's kind of cool to think that I love this idea that like.
454
00:36:07.433 --> 00:36:12.513
Because we are on this earth right now, we get to have this body,
455
00:36:12.713 --> 00:36:14.993
which is like really unique.
456
00:36:15.193 --> 00:36:19.893
And it's a unique experience. We've never had this experience before of having a body.
457
00:36:20.853 --> 00:36:24.053
And what do we often do? We criticize our body.
458
00:36:24.173 --> 00:36:28.833
We notice all the things that are wrong with it. We discount feelings that,
459
00:36:28.873 --> 00:36:31.593
you know, the signals that it's giving us.
460
00:36:31.593 --> 00:36:35.013
And it's like you know getting to know yourself is
461
00:36:35.013 --> 00:36:40.193
getting to know your body and understanding who you are mind body and spirit
462
00:36:40.193 --> 00:36:46.553
and that is so much fun yeah and and you start to realize like you know what
463
00:36:46.553 --> 00:36:51.533
you can just learn to love you can just accept and love your body just as it
464
00:36:51.533 --> 00:36:54.653
is even Even in this messy, fallen state.
465
00:36:54.973 --> 00:37:00.233
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Because when we love it, right?
466
00:37:00.333 --> 00:37:06.713
Like, and I speak from experience having not in the past, right? I think most of us do.
467
00:37:06.873 --> 00:37:13.133
But once you kind of embrace you as you, right?
468
00:37:13.253 --> 00:37:16.073
You notice the things it does for you.
469
00:37:16.353 --> 00:37:21.273
When we, right? So for so many years, it was what it couldn't do,
470
00:37:21.393 --> 00:37:24.113
what was wrong with it, how it needed to be different.
471
00:37:24.753 --> 00:37:28.813
And so it left no room for love and appreciation.
472
00:37:29.693 --> 00:37:36.713
But once you can just like, yeah, it's pretty amazing all the things that work together to live.
473
00:37:37.293 --> 00:37:40.453
I get to breathe. I can see. I can walk.
474
00:37:40.673 --> 00:37:45.033
I can do things. And, and so I just, yeah, I love that idea.
475
00:37:45.233 --> 00:37:51.273
Cause if we can just open up to the amazingness of it, and that's another thing I help people with.
476
00:37:51.353 --> 00:37:56.313
It's like for me, and I remember a coach talking about how they thought they
477
00:37:56.313 --> 00:37:57.913
were amazing. And I was like.
478
00:37:58.819 --> 00:38:03.579
Never going to be able to say I'm amazing. That just feels so weird and conceited, right?
479
00:38:04.059 --> 00:38:07.339
But when I started like, no, you know what?
480
00:38:07.519 --> 00:38:13.979
I am amazing. And you're amazing. And everyone else is amazing because we're God's children.
481
00:38:14.539 --> 00:38:18.259
Yes. Have this experience. So we're all just pretty amazing.
482
00:38:18.679 --> 00:38:22.259
No one's better than another person. No one's less than another person.
483
00:38:22.539 --> 00:38:27.319
We're all just pretty amazing for the fact that we were created by God.
484
00:38:27.619 --> 00:38:35.319
And when I leaned into that whole concept of like, yeah, like I'm amazing. Am I perfect? Heck no.
485
00:38:35.859 --> 00:38:40.859
I have ways to go and what I want to do and, and grow and all that stuff.
486
00:38:40.979 --> 00:38:46.279
But when I recognize the amazingness within, it's way more fun.
487
00:38:46.999 --> 00:38:51.259
Like you said, I love that. Like this really is a fun time of life because,
488
00:38:51.259 --> 00:38:54.219
because I'm embracing the amazingness.
489
00:38:54.859 --> 00:39:01.359
Yeah. Yeah. And we're wise enough to know like, okay, I don't know.
490
00:39:01.379 --> 00:39:05.919
I just love that life has given us enough experience to know what things are
491
00:39:05.919 --> 00:39:08.359
serving us well and what things are not, you know? Yeah.
492
00:39:08.519 --> 00:39:12.539
Yeah. And I say that like I always know, but I always have a coach because I don't always know.
493
00:39:12.799 --> 00:39:16.739
Right. That's why we have coaches and we need to have, you know,
494
00:39:16.759 --> 00:39:19.239
we all need a different perspective for sure.
495
00:39:19.839 --> 00:39:21.999
Yeah. It helps me to see things more clearly.
496
00:39:23.259 --> 00:39:27.799
And it helps me to live with more purpose.
497
00:39:28.199 --> 00:39:33.699
Like there's that phrase of like finding your purpose, especially in this phase of life. Yeah.
498
00:39:34.179 --> 00:39:37.559
Like finding your purpose. I don't know why that was kind of rubbed me wrong.
499
00:39:37.579 --> 00:39:40.639
And it's like, oh, no, it's creating your purpose. Yeah.
500
00:39:41.259 --> 00:39:43.439
You get to decide what it is, what it is.
501
00:39:44.259 --> 00:39:49.559
And, you know, I think purpose is your why. It's not your what.
502
00:39:50.636 --> 00:39:54.956
So much is our what changes from season to season.
503
00:39:55.296 --> 00:40:02.156
And like life throws curveballs. And so I think for many women our age,
504
00:40:02.336 --> 00:40:07.936
that's why this can be a hard time of life is because our purpose was home and
505
00:40:07.936 --> 00:40:11.376
family and caregiving and all those things. And then it changes.
506
00:40:11.916 --> 00:40:15.416
And we're like, oh, my what has changed. So I don't have a purpose.
507
00:40:16.076 --> 00:40:19.916
And it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's just a what.
508
00:40:19.916 --> 00:40:22.216
That's not your purpose. Why did you do any of that?
509
00:40:22.656 --> 00:40:27.856
That's your purpose. You're like, why are you doing anything you do? Tap into that.
510
00:40:29.416 --> 00:40:33.316
And all of a sudden life will open back up. Yeah. Beautiful.
511
00:40:34.016 --> 00:40:39.256
Yeah. Why is expansive? The what can be a little restrictive for sure.
512
00:40:39.436 --> 00:40:43.196
Yeah. I love it. Oh my God. I could talk to you all day. This is so fun.
513
00:40:44.156 --> 00:40:49.796
I feel the same way. Right. So is there anything you want to last word you want
514
00:40:49.796 --> 00:40:50.736
to leave with listeners?
515
00:40:51.256 --> 00:40:56.196
Is there anything you want them to take away from this? And I'll put links in
516
00:40:56.196 --> 00:40:58.396
the show notes for your free resource.
517
00:40:58.996 --> 00:41:02.796
I think that sounds awesome and amazing. So I'll include that.
518
00:41:02.916 --> 00:41:07.656
But is there any final thing that you want to share with listeners before we leave?
519
00:41:09.236 --> 00:41:12.356
Well, that sounds like it should be so profound, whatever I say.
520
00:41:14.576 --> 00:41:18.236
I think that really, that we're here to learn to love.
521
00:41:19.016 --> 00:41:24.856
And when we learn to love ourselves, it makes it so much easier to love others.
522
00:41:25.496 --> 00:41:30.536
And when we love others, we see God in all of that too. And it doesn't have
523
00:41:30.536 --> 00:41:33.276
to be in that order. It can be in different order, right?
524
00:41:33.996 --> 00:41:39.616
I think we're here to learn to love. Yeah. And I had a really hard heart for
525
00:41:39.616 --> 00:41:47.496
a long time. I was really probably protecting myself because of things that were hard, right?
526
00:41:47.836 --> 00:41:56.996
And when I learned that I am good and God is good and others are doing their
527
00:41:56.996 --> 00:42:00.256
best and their best sometimes is kind of messy like mine.
528
00:42:01.456 --> 00:42:06.536
It just helped me to kind of open up my heart a little bit more.
529
00:42:06.536 --> 00:42:12.236
And so I think that that's what I would say it's like you are loved.
530
00:42:13.583 --> 00:42:18.283
You just are like the kingdom of God is within that love is within you. God is love.
531
00:42:18.743 --> 00:42:23.683
That love is in you. We just need to learn how to access it and to feel it and
532
00:42:23.683 --> 00:42:26.843
allow ourselves to feel it and know that we're worthy to feel it.
533
00:42:28.023 --> 00:42:32.323
Beautiful. I love it. Thank you so much for coming on, Kristen.
534
00:42:32.483 --> 00:42:35.763
It's been so fun to have you and have this conversation.
535
00:42:35.983 --> 00:42:38.883
So I know there's someone that needed to hear this today.
536
00:42:39.523 --> 00:42:43.683
So thank you so much. I think it was me. It was probably you and me.
537
00:42:43.783 --> 00:42:48.343
Like who cares if anyone listens to this? We had a really good conversation. Right.
538
00:42:49.363 --> 00:42:54.223
But I will. So tell people how they can find you and I'll be sure to put that
539
00:42:54.223 --> 00:42:55.263
all in the show notes too.
540
00:42:55.323 --> 00:43:00.583
But where can people learn more about you and see updates on when your podcast comes out?
541
00:43:00.783 --> 00:43:04.923
Yes. Hopefully I'm hoping for June is my hope.
542
00:43:05.243 --> 00:43:08.563
But it'll happen when it happens, right? It's going to happen when it happens.
543
00:43:08.563 --> 00:43:12.563
And I'm learning to just trust that process, even though there's part of me that's like, no.
544
00:43:14.303 --> 00:43:21.443
Okay. They can find me at, on Instagram at kristin.rutterwith2ts.coaching or
545
00:43:21.443 --> 00:43:24.643
my website is kristinruttercoaching.com.
546
00:43:24.883 --> 00:43:28.203
Okay. Awesome. Those are the two places to hook up with me.
547
00:43:28.343 --> 00:43:34.303
Okay. Awesome. I'll put that in there and your free resource and it's awesome. So thank you so much.
548
00:43:34.463 --> 00:43:38.603
Thank you so much, Jill. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for tuning in to
549
00:43:38.603 --> 00:43:40.303
the Seasons of Joy podcast.
550
00:43:40.623 --> 00:43:43.903
I hope you enjoyed today's episode. And if you like what you heard,
551
00:43:43.983 --> 00:43:48.123
don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share with your friends and family.
552
00:43:48.343 --> 00:43:52.443
If you want to learn more about me or how to work with me, just visit my website,
553
00:43:52.763 --> 00:43:57.223
www.seasons-coaching.com and have a joyful week.
