Thoughtful Thursday & It’s Your Choice

Hello friends!

I remember when my husband and I were first married.

He would turn on the TV right when we got home from church to catch the end of a game or something.  

This was before DVR’s, which can I just say were the best invention and maybe saved our marriage.

I’m teasing, but I say that because it was a real strain in our marriage. 

I hated the sound of the crowd coming through the TV speakers.

I would hear it and just cringe.

I believed that my husband shouldn’t watch it right then.

We had just gotten home from church for heaven’s sake.

That isn’t what good Latter-day Saints did.

We were supposed to come home and continue feeling the Spirit.

We needed to do Sunday activities.

We needed to keep the Sabbath day holy.

So of course, I would feel frustrated and angry.

Then I would complain, get mad at him, or give him the silent treatment.

I am sure you can image how well that went over.

It really invited the Spirit into our home.

That was the perfect Sunday activity and really fostered Sabbath day observance.

NOT.

Actually, I wasn’t acting in a way that invited the Spirit.

I wasn’t being like the Savior.

I was being judgemental.

The truth is my husband was an adult and he could watch sports if he wanted.

It really wasn’t my job to police him, scold him, or judge him.

None of those things helped me be who I wanted to be and I was blaming him for my frustration.

My behavior is what tainted my Sabbath day experience, not my husband watching sports.

It wasn’t that I shouldn’t have made a request of him or told him how I felt.

Of course, I could.

But I was showing up in a way that prevented me from communicating at my best.

It was my job to create my Sabbath experience. 

It was my job to communicate and make a request.

My experience or my emotions were not his responsibility.

But I believed they were and so I was miserable.

When you let people be themselves without trying to control them, you actually can be more of who you want to be.

Choosing deliberately how you want to show up in your relationships.

What if you could let others be themselves without trying to control them?

Because the truth is, you can’t control other people.

We all try but it doesn’t work.

What is the upside to anger, resentment, hate or blame when people don’t behave like we think they should?

I would say nothing.

What is the downside to inviting in curiosity and compassion?

I would say nothing.

What are you going to choose?