Thoughtful Thursday & Spring Cleaning Dirty Pain

Hello, my friends!

I want to invite you to think about an issue or a problem that has consumed you for a long time.

It could be the choices of others.

Your body.

A diagnosis.

The state of the world.

You probably have spent a lot of time and energy trying to control this issue.

But are your efforts working?

My guess is your answer is no.

Otherwise, you would have found a solution to your problem already.

What if the issue you are spending so much time and energy thinking about isn't really the problem?

What if it is the continuous rumination of the problem?

Psychologists refer to this as "dirty" pain.

Martha Beck teaches that when we get stuck in believing that things should or ought to be different than they are, we get stuck in proving how we--and life--are bad.

I am not suggesting that we shouldn't feel pain.

Pain is part of life.

We will experience it half of the time.

But not all pain is created equal. 

"Clean pain" is different. 

It helps us to feel alive.

Cleansing and moving us through this human experience.

For example, grief has cleansed and moved me through the experience of the passing of both my parents over the last couple of years.

But "dirty" pain is needless suffering.

Needlessly suffering because we are resisting what we can't control and thinking thoughts we don't necessarily want to think.

For example, watching loved ones chose differently than I want them to and believing that it should be different just keeps me stuck in frustration.

Staying there - not progressing through the emotion or finding perspective.

Fighting with reality keeps me in pain but accepting reality actually sets me free.

It isn't wrong to feel any emotion.

Awareness is optional.

But it is available to you if you are ready to feel something different. 

Cleaning out and letting go of your painful stories will actually invite more happiness into your life. 

I invite you to compassionately observe yourself while you ask yourself the following questions.

Is there one "dirty" pain you are tired of indulging in?

Are you ready to start spring cleaning this emotion by managing your mind?

If so.

The first step is to notice the emotion.

Then ask yourself,

"Is it appropriate to feel that way or is it time to let it go?"

The second step is to think of a thought or a feeling that you can redirect to that causes you to feel something better.

The third step is to practice this thought or feeling whenever you can.

Notice.

Redirect.

Practice.

Repeat.

Give it a try!