Thoughtful Thursday & Emotional Layering
ON THE BLOG
EMOTIONAL LAYERING
Have you ever heard the term "emotional layering"? This is something I struggled with for a long time.
When we think we should be happy all the time, we often push away the uncomfortable or negative feelings that may come up for us. But the truth is, they don't go away when we resist or ignore them. We can end up actually feeling worse. This happens because we add more negative feelings on top of the first uncomfortable emotions we experience, which feels terrible.
For example, imagine someone says something unkind to you. Instead of admitting you feel hurt and addressing it, you might think you shouldn't feel that way and try to ignore it. This can then cause you to feel frustrated or angry, and you might end up focusing on blaming the other person for hurting you. You might then give them the silent treatment, avoid them, or even yell at them. Then, you might feel bad about acting that way, adding feelings of shame.
Another example could be when you don't meet your own goals. If you have a bad day and don't get everything done that you would like to, you might get mad at yourself. This can cause you to feel sad or disappointed. You might start believing that something is wrong with you, which can lead to feelings of shame.
In both cases, not dealing with or addressing the first uncomfortable emotions makes things worse because you are layering negative emotions on top of each other. However, when we can accept that life has both good and bad moments, we can reduce the emotional layering. We don't have to be afraid of the negative emotions that come. They really won't hurt us. They don't feel great, but they will not harm us.
The uncomfortable emotions are actually telling us something we probably want to address. They can be some of our greatest teachers. Emotions also help us move through the good and bad experiences of life. When we face the uncomfortable feelings that come as part of the human experience and accept them for what they are, we make room for more good feelings to be there too, allowing us to live a more balanced and joyful life.
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