Episode 20 - Story Turns
Episode 20 - Story Turns
Before I begin, I want to tell you about two invitations that I have for you.
First, just a reminder to join my Seasons of Joy Facebook Group. In there I share tips and tools to help you create more joy in your life. I also go Live in there once or twice a month to do some live teaching and coaching. It is a safe community for women of faith to learn, grow and support one another through our different seasons.
Second, I am so excited to announce that I am holding my first retreat this October. It is An Awakening Retreat. It is going to be held October 6, 7, and 8 in Garden City, Utah next to the beautiful Bear Lake. Fall is beautiful there and It is going to be so amazing.
There are 3 reasons I believe you need an in person retreat this year.
This retreat experience will take place at this incredible newly built farmhouse. It will be limited to 15 attendees in order to create an intimate experience that will awaken your soul and ignite your inspiration. An opportunity to refocus on what is important to you.
This retreat experience will allow you the opportunity to reconnect with you. Strengthening the relationship you have with yourself. You may connect with old friends if you decide to have some of them join you for this retreat and/or connect with new friends. While at the same time, reconnecting with God and feeling Divine Love.
And finally, to rejuvenate by using this time to fill your cup, find clarity, and refuel so you can go back home with the energy and the tools that will help you create more joy in your life.
I would love to have you join me!
So, Last week, I talked about Andy Andrew’s book, The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters.
I also talked about how a life purpose isn’t about what we are doing but the why behind it.
I believe our whys are what makes up our life purpose.
Your life purpose is worth discovering.
It can serve as a powerful compass to your life and gives meaning to all you do - to your life experiences, your work, your trials, your roles, and your relationships.
Your purpose is the filter for your decisions and choices.
You have unique gifts and talents that you will discover as you become clear in your purpose.
Clarity of purpose helps you on your individual journey of growth and personal development opening you to the whisperings of the Spirit inspiring you with ways you can contribute.
You have a part to play.
Entering new seasons of life can create a sense of discouragement because it is unfamiliar and we don’t know what we should do. This can lead us to comparing ourselves to others and believing we don’t have anything to contribute.
But this isn’t true. We each have something unique to offer the world. We each have a part to play in this amazing, miraculous world.
If you are confused and don’t know what your purpose is, I want to tell you about an exercise that I learned from Brooke Snow who originally learned it from Donald Miller. He calls it Creating Your Life Plan.
I am going to call it the Purpose Discovery Process because I like that name better.
This process begins by writing down and reviewing some of the impactful turns in your life as part of your purpose discovery.
We each have stories. The stories of our lives are made up of experiences that are made up of turns. Some we would consider negative turns and some positive turns. A story turn is an event or experience that takes place after which you will never be the same. Now these stories are subjective. One person may view an event as a minor turn while someone else may consider it a major life turn. But both are beautiful pieces to the tapestry of your life.
A negative story turn might be a diagnosis, a divorce, an unplanned pregnancy, a falling out with someone you care about, or a loss of a loved one.
A positive story turn might be making a lifelong friend at the age of 15, meeting your spouse, obtaining an education, moving for a job opportunity, or becoming a mother.
We each have story turns in our lives and we each view them differently.
If we pause and get curious in order to get a little more perspective, we may discover patterns or a recurring theme through the negative and positive turns in our story.
If you were to look at your life story, what have the events in your life prepared you for?
Where in your story can you see God’s hand?
Do you notice any patterns or themes in the stories you tell about your life?
By theme I mean something like: “I am an example of what is possible” or “God strengthens me” or “God uses me to show compassion for others” or “I love sharing the light of Christ” or “God uses me to lift others” or “I create to add beauty to the world.”
For me, it is that God uses me to create joy through connecting, teaching and loving.
I have spoken about the point in time of my life when I was wondering what my purpose was. This was a story turn for me. It changed the trajectory of my life to where I am now but that was not the only story turn in my life and will definitely not be the last. But reviewing what I believe where significant story turns in my life I have gained a clearer vision of my purpose–my why.
Here are a few of my story turns. This isn’t all of them but it will give you an idea of what I mean by story turns.
In junior high, I had my childhood best friend decide she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I felt hurt and a little lost but soon I found a new group of friends. These beautiful friends have helped shape, strengthen and love me over all these years. These friends are like sisters to me. This was a story turn.
I danced most of my younger life. I went on to dance in high school and on into college. I tried out and made the dance team at Utah State. This helped me pay for part of my tuition. College wasn’t something that wasn’t necessarily pushed. It wasn’t discouraged but it wasn’t necessarily encouraged. My parents didn’t go to college. No one had even graduated from college in my immediate family at that point in time. College life was definitely a time for learning, growing. Making decisions and living consequences. Setting me on the path of my personal faith journey and discovering and connecting deeply with Jesus Christ and His grace. A story turn.
Because of dance, I was able to meet my future husband, the love of my life, on a van ride to California. He was driving the college dance team to a summer dance camp. His best friend was the Athletic VP and was able to get him this sweet paid gig of driving 12 plus college age girls to this dance camp. Fun story turn.
But this led to the story turn of an unplanned pregnancy and after much heartache and struggle, we decided to marry and work through it together. Sticking it out even in the hard times and the doubts. This refining story turn led to a deep connection and a better understanding of divine love, forgiveness, patience, compassion, empathy, grace and 5 beautiful children.
After my husband and I were married only a few months we moved to Canada for a year. We had a new baby and we lived away from most of our family. There were some lonely times. Not only trying to navigate a new marriage but a new baby. This story turn wasn’t easy. But we learned to be there for each other. We became best friends and partners because we only had each other.
A few years later we decided to move to Mendon, Utah and build a home there. Story turn. We have lived here since 1994. Over the years I have had the opportunity to connect with some of the most amazing women. Many are still here influencing my life today. Some have moved away to other places. Others have moved on to a different season of life. But all have greatly influenced who I am today. Women of goodness, of faith, testimony, compassion and supporting me through many seasons of my adult life from young married, to raising toddlers and teens, and now in this empty-nesting season.
My love adventure and outdoors created a story turn that has connected me to some more beautiful souls that have lifted and encouraged me not only on the road or trail but in life. This also has increased my time in nature, fortifying and strengthening my belief in and relationship with God.
A few years ago, my sisters and I had to step in and care for our aging parents. There were some really hard parts and really beautiful parts. Lessons and growing are still occurring in this current story turn.
And finally, the story turn, when I decided to listen to a life coaching podcast. Getting curious and applying what I learned to change my life experience in this new season of life. This has led me to learn and grow in a way that I never knew was possible. Learning and sharing tools that helped me create better connections with myself, others and God – Allowing me to embrace the beauty and joy of life.
So here are the 3 steps to creating your Purpose Discovery Process.
Step 1 - Make a list of events in your life that have impacted you. They may be the decisions you have made or the decisions of others. Just write down those events that have created story turns.
Step 2 - Describe how those events influenced you both negatively and positively. Both are a beautiful part of discovering your purpose.
Step 3 - Apply The Pause Principle that I teach in episode 2,3 & 4.
Here is a brief review.
First, Pause - pause to process. To process the emotions that come up for you as you review these events in your life. This exercise may bring with it all kinds of emotions and it is important to allow them. Even welcoming them in order for them to help you to live with permanent intention.
As I examined the story turns in my life. Some brought with them some big emotions that I had shoved a way. But by allowing myself to acknowledge them and feel them, I was able to heal through them.
Next, Pause to ponder. Ponder on what the common themes or patterns you see. Get curious. Be open to what could be possible.
For me, I could see a theme of connecting with others. I could see a pattern of creating joy in whatever circumstance I was in. It didn’t mean I didn’t struggle in the middle of some these turns but I worked to get to joy.
Finally, Pause to protect. Consider where you are currently in your life. Are you in line with the purpose you have discovered? Is there something you want to change? Or something you want to start doing that helps you live your life purpose. How can you protect the life you want to create?
For me, I want to help others reconnect with themselves, others and God in order to create more joy in their lives. I do this by teaching them tools and concepts that I have learned that have helped me personally. We are “that we might have joy.” To do this, I created this podcast, I write a weekly blog, and teach classes, I coach, and I am always learning and growing so I can share more. Sometimes, I say “no” to things that aren’t helping me live in my purpose. Other times, I say “yes” to things that feel big and scary but are totally aligned with my why.
Through all the twists and turns of life joy can be found no matter the season or circumstance you find yourself in when you can find your Why.
Reviewing the turns in my life I can see the beauty in all of it. I can see more clearly where I am going and what I want to create moving forward. Living with purpose, passion, and reaching for what is possible.
Mentioned in the episode: Brooke Snow, Donald Miller and Andy Andrews.
To schedule a free Discovery Call, join my Seasons of Joy Facebook Group, and register for my upcoming An Awakening Retreat go to Seasons Coaching.
