Episode 63 - Positive Portfolio
Episode 63 - Positive Portfolio
Hello, my friends.
Welcome to the Seasons of Joy Podcast.
I am so glad to be here.
This episode is a little late this week as we are adjusting to our summer schedule.
It really is beginning to feel like summer here and I love it.
I am excited about today’s topic, Positive Portfolio.
Last week, I talked about the idea of faith building. When we notice feelings of fear increasing, instead of focusing on reducing the fear, we can work on increasing or building our faith.
I want to build on that idea a little bit today with a concept that Positive Psychology refers to as a Positive Portfolio which I will explain in more detail in a minute.
In one of their articles that I read, it stated that a “key ingredient in human flourishing” is our ability to experience positive emotion.
When we resist, react, or avoid our negative emotion, we create more negative emotion which causes suffering. It also reduces our ability to experience positive emotion.
For example, let’s say I am feeling hurt by something my husband said because I am believing that he doesn’t care what I think. From my thoughts and the feeling of hurt, I react to the situation by yelling and then by giving him the silent treatment. This then feeds feelings of anger and resentment. I may withdraw and disengage. After sometime, I may start thinking that I shouldn’t have acted that way and that I am a terrible person which leads me to feel ashamed about all of it. Do you see the layers of negative emotion I would be creating? Hurt, anger, resentment and shame take up space that could be used for other emotions that would feel better and better serve me. Again, the emotions of hurt, anger, resentment or shame aren’t wrong. They don’t define me but they create an experience that I don’t love.
What we focus on expands. So, by reacting in a circumstance like this and focusing on how much we don’t want negative emotion, the more negative emotion we create which is the opposite of flourishing. How we handle our negative emotions does affect our well-being.
I have talked about the power of processing emotions in previous podcasts. Understanding this skill and putting it into practice truly can become your superpower.
However, for today’s discussion, I am not going to be talking about the topic of processing emotions. If you want to learn more about that, I invite you to listen to episode #2, #7, #41, #50, #58 of this podcast.
I want to go back to the word flourishing.
What does flourishing even mean?
I believe that flourishing means thriving, not just surviving in life. Flourishing means improved well-being. This is the way we view ourselves and our lives. Many people think of wellness in terms of physical and mental health and others believe it is the absence of struggles in their life. Yet, it is so much more than either of those things. Well-being is a state of being comfortable, healthy, satisfied and happy. It is often associated with a balanced and fulfilling life.
In the article I mentioned, they talk about how research shows that increased well-being not only feels better, but it benefits us in so many ways.
Better work performance
More satisfying relationships
More cooperative
Stronger immune systems
Better physical health
Live longer
Reduced cardiovascular mortality
Fewer sleep problems
Lower levels of burnout
Greater self-control
Better self-regulation and coping abilities
More social
Another thing that I found interesting is that research has identified optimism as one of the key contributors to well-being. Studies show that optimism brings many benefits compared to pessimism, including:
Less depression and anxiety
Better performance at school, sports, and work
Reduced risk of dropping out of school
Better physical health outcomes, including fewer reported illnesses, less coronary heart disease, lower mortality risk, and faster recovery from surgery.
When we can focus on improving our well-being we not only impact the quality of our lives but we have greater positive influence in the world around us.
There are many opinions on what areas of life our overall well-being encompasses. When I was researching this I found that it can include anywhere from 4 to 9 areas such as physical, emotional, financial, spiritual, social, career, intellectual, creative and environmental.
I really don’t think it matters whether you use 4 or 20 categories to describe your well-being. You want to find the areas that align with you and how you measure your well-being. Once you have decided on the components of your life, then you can start improving your overall well-being.
One model I love is the PERMA+ Theory of Well-Being. It is a model developed by American positive psychologist Martin Seligman. This model identifies five essential elements for a flourishing life: (P) Positive Emotion, (E) Engagement, (R) Relationships, (M) Meaning, (A) Accomplishments, and (+) Physical Well-being.
I want to give a brief description of the 5 elements of the PERMA model based on my research.
Positive Emotion: Within limits, we can increase our positive emotion about the past (e.g., by cultivating gratitude and forgiveness), our positive emotion about the present (e.g., by savoring physical pleasures and mindfulness) and our positive emotion about the future (e.g., by building hope and optimism).
Our ability to experience positive emotions is influenced by things such as our past experiences, our parents, and our beliefs. The lens through which we view life can affect our ability to experience positive emotion. Our emotions also fluctuate in an emotional range. Some people experience a wide emotional range while others experience a smaller emotional range. Each person has their own individual emotional range.
Engagement: Engagement is an experience in which someone fully uses their skills, strengths, and attention for a challenging task. The experience is so gratifying that people do the task for its own sake, rather than for what they will get out of it. The activity is its own reward. A person’s ability, concentration and focus are absorbed into the moment. Self-awareness disappears, and the perception of time is altered. This can happen in all kinds of activities such as a good conversation, a work task, playing a musical instrument, reading a book, writing, building furniture, fixing a bike, gardening, sports training or performance, etc.
Relationships: Relationships are fundamental to well-being. The experiences that contribute to well-being are often amplified through our relationships, for example, great joy, meaning, laughter, a feeling of belonging, and pride in accomplishment. Connections to others can give life purpose and meaning. Research shows that service for others produces an increase in well-being.
We are divinely designed as social beings with a desire to belong s. This drive to connect with and serve others also promotes our survival. Developing strong relationships is central in our ability to adapt and is enabled by our capacity for love, compassion, kindness, empathy, teamwork, cooperation, etc.
Meaning: A sense of meaning and purpose can come from belonging to and serving something bigger than the self. Society provides opportunities for a sense of meaning through religion, family, science, politics, work, justice, community, and social causes.
Accomplishment: People pursue achievement, competence, success, growth, development and mastery for its own sake. For example, in the workplace, sports, games, hobbies, etc. people pursue accomplishment even though it doesn’t necessarily lead to positive emotion, meaning, or relationships.
Each of these five areas contributes to our well-being. They are each pursued for its own sake, not as a means to an end. They are also defined and measured independently of the other elements. Understanding these elements and how they contribute to flourishing can help you make more informed and intentional choices that are aligned with your personal values.
For this discussion, I want to focus on the positive emotion component to this model.
I find this component of the PERMA model fascinating as I continue to learn about the power of our emotions in creating a life you love.
Barbara Fredrickson, a positive psychologist, believes that intentionally creating and cultivating positive emotions contributes to our wellbeing.
This practice helps us to expand our thought, emotional, and action patterns which ultimately create our desired life experience.
So, how can we intentionally create and cultivate positive emotions?
In working with my clients, one exercise I use is discovering the top 3 emotions that they operate from on a regular basis. Once these are identified, it is time to get curious. How do these emotions feel in your body? Do you want to change any one of those emotions to one that will feel and serve you better? The goal isn’t to only operate from positive emotions but to find the balance of positive and negative emotions that feels good to you.
For example, at one time my top 3 emotions were gratitude, frustration, and determination. I wanted to keep the feeling of gratitude. I love how it feels and keeps things in perspective for me. I also wanted to keep the feeling of determination. Determination doesn’t feel great but it moves me toward my dreams and goals. I am willing to feel uncomfortable to create a life I love. But I did want to change the feeling of frustration because I was stuck in a negative pattern that wasn’t serving me or helping my well-being. Over time, I have been able to change my emotional pattern from frustration to curiosity. Curiosity serves me so much better. Now, this doesn’t mean I never feel frustrated but I no longer live in frustration.
The next step in this exercise is to explore the thoughts that will create the desired emotion. As you understand and experience how the emotion feels in your body you are better able to find the thoughts that will create it. For me, the thought that has helped me get to curiosity instead of frustration is “that’s interesting.” It is my clue to get curious so I can show up in my life intentionally and more of the person I want to be. It allows me to use my agency to act instead of being acted upon. It helps me to expand my perspective and find solutions.
Another exercise I use with my clients is to practice pausing throughout the day and checking in with yourself and seeing how you are feeling in that moment. You want to pay attention to how the negative and positive emotions you experience feel like in your body. We are so used to living on autopilot, it can be easy to overlook how we are feeling. Living unintentionally. Reacting, resisting, or avoiding our way through life. However, if our actions are fueled by how we feel, it seems to me, we would want to learn how our emotions feel inside our bodies so we can create the emotions we desire. Learning how gratitude feels inside of yourself helps you create more of it. Learning how peace feels inside yourself helps you create more of it. Learning how joy feels inside yourself helps you create more of it. Learning how connection feels inside yourself helps you create more of it.
This leads to the third way to create more positive emotions by making me a Positive Portfolio as suggested by Dr. Fredrickson.
There are many ways to do this but the basic idea is to gather objects and mementos that evoke a particular positive emotion. You can combine things like music, poems, photos, quotes, letters, emails, or cards that you associate with the emotion you are trying to create. Then you compile those things into a physical and/or digital portfolio.
You can repeat this process for as many positive emotions you want to cultivate. Once you have created your portfolio, you can re-examine the contents of your desired emotional states. This exercise strengthens your ability to create and experience more positive emotion in your life.
I love this idea so much!
I want to share my experience with you to give you an idea of what this can look like.
I decided to make My Positive Portfolio a digital one.
I used an application called Trello. It is a cool program that allows you to create digital lists where you can attach photos and links. I will put a link for it in the show notes. Trello is a web-based and app-based program so it is easy to access on your computer and your phone. Once you have created your free account, you can create up to 10 free boards on your workspace. One of my boards is called My Positive Portfolio. Next, I created different lists for each of the positive emotions I want to create more of in my life such as peace, gratitude, joy, love, connection and empowerment.
Under each emotion, I have included things like pictures of loved ones, of nature, of the Savior, of handwritten notes, and links to music.
My Positive Portfolio is still a work in progress and I think it will be one of those things that is always evolving and changing depending on what is inspiring me. One thing that is cool about this platform is that you can upload pictures straight from your photo library into the application or you can take new ones that you have captured in the moment. You can also cut and paste clickable links to your favorite music.
All of this is at your fingertips when you need a little boost of emotions like gratitude, peace, or empowerment in your day.
So for example, in my peace portfolio I have a picture of the Savior. There are also pictures of flowers, the mountains, and sunsets. In my joy portfolio I have pictures of my granddaughter holding up yellow daisies and me standing in front of a giant 15+ foot snowman. In my empowerment portfolio I have pictures of me standing on top of the Grand Teton and hiking the Napali Coast. I have a link to one of my new favorite songs that inspires me to live all in. In my connection portfolio, I have pictures of the people I love, my friends and family. I have handwritten notes from some of the people I deeply love. I have pictures of people I have met on my life coaching journey. In my love portfolio, I have pictures of heart shapes that I have found in my life such as a heart shaped rock, chicken nugget, meringue, and pile of dirt. All evidence to me of the goodness of God and my fellow human beings.
As I have been working on this I am reminded of the beautiful things in my life while at the same being a creator of more positive emotions.
Hopefully, you are getting the picture and the ideas are flowing.
What positive emotions are you wanting to experience more of in your life?
If you are ready to create your Positive Portfolio but you are feeling overwhelmed, remember, there is no right way to do this. Just pick one positive emotion you are ready to create more of in your life. Then just start gathering! You can do it!
The final step to this process is to decide how often you want to review your Positive Portfolio. Is it 15 minutes a day? Is it once a week? Once a month? You get to decide. The goal is to be a positive emotion creator on your way to improving your well-being.
If you want help taking what I have talked about here to a deeper level, I would love to be your coach.
Mentioned in episode:
Episode 7 - Spring Clean Dirty Pain
Episode 41 - Somatic Work with Denita Bremer
Episode 50 - Pain vs Suffering
Episode 58 - The Emotional Flu with Natalie Clay
If you are ready to take these concepts and apply them to your circumstances, I would love to be your coach. Just click the link in the show notes to schedule a free discovery call with me.
Click on the following links to learn more about Seasons Coaching and my Seasons of Joy Community Facebook Group.
Are you ready to take what I teach to a deeper level? I would love to be your coach! Click HERE to learn more about my Season of Creation 12-Week Coaching package.
To contact me about speaking to your group or business, email me at jill@seasons-coaching.com.
Thank you so much for listening and have a joyful week!
